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Anger is an uncontrollable force that takes us over and leads us to do or say things that we wouldn’t normally do. When you hold on to it, anger is a powerful force that can take over your emotions, leaving you feeling helpless.
Holding on to anger leads to adverse effects, both physically and emotionally. Eventually, it can cause you to respond to situations in an impulsive and irrational manner, which can compromise your personal and professional relationships.
Fortunately, it’s possible to learn how to let go of anger and hurt. This article contains strategies that can help you deal with anger in a healthy way. You will learn how to let go and move on.
Strategies on How to Let Go of Anger:
- Recognize the source of your anger:
Recognize when you are feeling angry, and try to determine the cause. Is the cause something you can change or control, or is it out of your hands? Further, is your anger being caused by someone who you will never see again, such as a grocery clerk or a server at a restaurant? Or is a family member or friend making you angry?
- Take a brief time out:
It is crucial to realize when it is time to take a minute for yourself. If you are doing something or talking to someone and you can sense that you have anger building up, simply excuse yourself. Walk away and take a few minutes to gather your thoughts and release the negative emotions. Take this time to think about how you want to respond before you speak.
Taking a timeout will prevent you from saying something out of anger that you might later regret.
- Find workable solutions.
Instead of focusing on whatever triggered your anger, you can work on finding a solution to the issue at hand. Instead of staying angry, do something about it. For example, is your spouse late for dinner every night? Instead of facing this drama every night, you can find a workable solution. Perhaps you can schedule meals for later in the evening, or the two of you can agree to eat on your own on certain nights.
It is good to recognize the things that are out of your control and understand that you cannot change them. Knowing what you can control will let you use your limited energy in the most effective way possible. The time you exhaust thinking about and trying to change situations that are out of your control could be spent on things that you do have control over, which would then allow you to make progress.
- Don’t hold grudges:
Holding grudges has more health implications for you than it does for the other person. Not only do they take up your energy, but they also make your emotional state toxic.
Even if you have been legitimately offended, which most people have, try to take an empathic perspective rather than being a victim. Forgiving thoughts will allow you to have a greater sense of perceived control and reduced physiological stress response, which will help decrease your anger.
- Practice forgiveness:
Forgiveness may look different for everyone, but it generally involves making an active decision to let go of resentful feelings and thoughts of revenge. Once this is done, anger will no longer drain your energy, and you will be able to have peace of mind. The act that hurt you may always be with you, but forgiveness will set you free from the control of the incident or person who caused you harm. When you are able to forgive someone else, you are not doing it for their sake. Rather, you are doing it so you can regain control of your life and move on. This doesn’t mean that you are forgetting or excusing the harmful behavior, but it will bring you some peace.
- Talk to a friend:
You can reach out to a trusted friend who you know will give you their full attention. Let out your anger and frustrations to them and get their feedback. Often, when a friend knows you well, they can provide the best advice for you that can fit in with your life. A good friend may be able to reframe a situation for you and get you to see it in a different light which can in turn, ease the anger you feel.